This beer wants you to suck on its balls…literally.
Denver and much of the West is land locked, so if you want Oysters out there, you’re not getting your Little Neck ocean based variety locally. Out West, people eat Oysters fished from the Rocky Mountains. Well, not fished so much as cut off from a bull’s nether regions: people out West like to live dangerously within the kicking range on an angry bull.

In 2013, I visited Denver, and sampled many of the great Wynkoop Brewery beers (@Wynkoop). Wynkoop is the oldest Microbrewery in Denver, which opened in 1988 by former Denver Mayor, and current Colorado Govorner, John Hickenlooper. When I visited back in 2013, all the hullaballoo around town was that if I could find their just released Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout, I needed to try it. I wondered, did people really want me to eat balls? Is this a fraternity hazing with a novelty beer? Or is everyone out there really just adventurous in eating like they are in rest of their lives?

Now, every year around April 1st, Wynkoop produces a limited amount, or what they call an “Even Smaller Batch,” of their Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout, which sells out like crazy upon release. The brewery tries to limit sales to 2 cans per customer. That year, I couldn’t find it after calling over a dozen beer suppliers around town. But when I went back this spring, without even looking for it, I saw a treasure trove of a fresh batch at my local liquor store. It is only sold in 2-pack cans, so I bought 4 cans before anyone could challenge my manliness. Especially Eric, who loves to challenge the manliness of his friends as equally as he loves to talk about balls. So Eric, I challenge you to try this beer and write your own review! I have another can just for you.

This beer pours a dark dark brown, almost black that lets no light escape, which makes sense since this beer comes from where the sun don’t shine. The thick head dissipates fairly quickly without any remnant lacing. The aroma is a rich, sweet maltiness of chocolate and roasted goodness. And yes, there is a subtle nuttiness! At 7.5% ABV, you feel the sting like an angry bull just threw you. The brewery also claims that there are 3 BPB (Balls Per Barrel), so many Bulls gave up their manhood for this unique brew.

The sweetness seems to give a silky smooth mouthfeel as those balls roll over your tongue. The taste is malt forward, but balanced with just enough bitterness to keep this in a welcome range for the style. There’s also a mild saltiness on the back end, which you should expect from dees nuts.

I also had a taste of the beer fresh on draft while I was in Denver last month, and that pour was even brinier, especially in the front of the taste, than in the can. Perhaps the bull in the can has mellowed after the passing of time since his delicious castration. Sorry buddy! A toast to your sacrifice!